Episode 18
How to Stop Overthinking in 5 Steps as a High-Achiever [Ep 18]
Are you a high achiever who feels overwhelmed and struggles with overthinking? This episode dives deep into the world of anxious high achievers, exploring how we often appear calm and collected on the outside while feeling chaotic on the inside. We’ll share five practical steps to help you calm your mind and break the cycle of overthinking, allowing you to embrace your ambitious nature without the constant stress. I’ll guide you through identifying the root causes of your anxiety and offer actionable strategies to navigate those feelings effectively. If you're ready to discover how to maintain your drive while feeling more present and confident, then this episode is just for you. Let's get into it!
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Transcript
You're listening to the Peace With Anxiety Podcast.
Speaker A:I am your host Irene Evangelo, anxiety counselor and clinical hypnotherapist.
Speaker B:I'll be coming to you every week
Speaker A:to share actionable tips, simple strategies and useful resources to help you break free
Speaker B:from high function anxiety.
Speaker A:We'll be covering how to recognize and understand your anxiety, strategies to change your thoughts and feelings, and ways to implement long lasting change.
Speaker A:If you are trying to overcome people pleasing behaviors, navigate anxiety, living in self doubt or something else keeping you stuck, then you are in the right place.
Speaker A:I know that you are ready to get to the next level of your life feeling free, calm, confident and in control.
Speaker A:So let's get started.
Speaker B:Hello everyone and welcome Back to episode 18 of the Peace With Anxiety Podcast.
Speaker B:I was looking forward to this episode because I think it's been too long since I spoke to my high achieving listeners of this show and who I mean by that.
Speaker B:Well, let me ask you, are you a hard working professional and you could be employed or self employed or currently not working but plan to go back to work, or are you a graduate student who is feeling overworked with very high standards like no matter what you do it's just not enough.
Speaker B:Or have difficulty disconnecting from your work, but wanting more time for yourself and those around you or struggle with procrastination but you also want to let go of your fears and live in the present moment.
Speaker B:If you're like yes that is me then I would recommend grabbing some sort of notebook or maybe opening up a document on your phone or computer so that you can take some notes of these tips and information that I will be sharing with you in this episode.
Speaker B:So today we will talk about how to stop overthinking and calm your mind so that you can finally see yourself as the amazing person that you are to still be who you are, which is an ambitious high achieving woman but still feel calm, confident and present in the moment.
Speaker B:I want to share with you an
Speaker C:exclusive opportunity to join me live for
Speaker B:my very first LIVE workshop where I'm
Speaker C:going to be sharing with you the Peace with Anxiety method.
Speaker C:So if you want to understand what
Speaker B:is getting in the way of healing
Speaker C:from anxiety or what to do about your anxious thoughts, feelings and actions using evidence based techniques.
Speaker C:Or if you want to learn about my 5 minute exercise that is going to help you to instantly reduce anxiety naturally.
Speaker C:Finally, if you want to learn about the ultimate method to effectively ease anxiety and if you want to feel calm and confident, then sign up for the upcoming Beast with Anxiety workshop.
Speaker B:Now we know from extensive research that chronic stress and anxiety result in reduced cognitive function and overall performance.
Speaker B:However, many high achieving professionals, whether they realize it or not, they believe that they perform at their best only when they are under stress.
Speaker B:And if that's you, that is okay.
Speaker B:That was me as well.
Speaker B:So if you were the kind of person who would procrastinate until the very last minute and then rush to get everything done, you probably know what I mean.
Speaker B:So who is the anxious high achiever?
Speaker B:Well, I would describe someone as an anxious high achiever if they are ambitious and high performing and appear calm, put together and successful to others.
Speaker B:However, on the inside they feel overwhelmed, they are overthinking, they have difficulty saying no to others, and no matter how much they do, which more often than not is quite a lot, they never feel satisfied.
Speaker B:That is enough.
Speaker B:So let's talk for a moment about these two very different sides because those I described would tend to experience high function anxiety.
Speaker B:So if you are a high achiever with high function anxiety, you would normally appear on the outside as very hardworking.
Speaker B:You have big goals and tend to be a perfectionist and pay very close attention to details to make sure everything runs smoothly.
Speaker B:You are very organized and prepared for every possible scenario.
Speaker B:But even if something unexpected were to happen, you would seem to be doing very well under the stress and appear calm and collected.
Speaker B:Now, what happens on the inside is a different story that you don't usually share with others.
Speaker B:What happens is that you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and you tend to overthink everything in order to feel prepared.
Speaker B:But you're still doubting yourself.
Speaker B:You feel overwhelmed by the amount of responsibilities you took over, but you still need to be busy.
Speaker B:You are unable to relax.
Speaker B:Feeling rushed and under stress is normal for you and you pride yourself on being able to thrive under these circumstances.
Speaker B:You have trouble saying no to others, which can result in in people pleasing behaviors.
Speaker B:And despite your outward success, you are terrified of failure and so you are on the verge of physical, emotional and mental burnout.
Speaker B:If this is you, please know that in no way, shape or form am I shaming you or putting you on the spot.
Speaker B:I most certainly am a high achiever myself and for many years I have struggled with the same things you may be going through right now.
Speaker B:So if you identified with my description before, please keep listening as in this episode I will share with you my five steps to help calm your mind, feel balanced and present, and your most confident self.
Speaker B:So what can you do to calm your mind?
Speaker B:Well, the way to Stop overthinking is actually to getting to the root cause of it.
Speaker B:Because yes, you can do things like distracting yourself with other things.
Speaker B:You can do meditations, you can do journaling, breathing exercises, and following through with your never ending to do list, which are all great and I am a big fan of.
Speaker B:But if you want to effectively stop overthinking in the long term, you need to find out the reason why you're overthinking.
Speaker B:With anxiety, most commonly, fear is the associated feeling that drives your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
Speaker B:And that fear can take many forms, such as fear of making mistakes, of doing or saying the wrong thing, fear of uncertainty and the unknown.
Speaker B:So worrying about what could happen in the future, fear of judgment or unworthiness, which can make you people please in order to avoid disappointing others, and ultimately fear of not being good enough, smart enough, successful enough, capable enough.
Speaker B:Now, we talked about this last week when we were describing the connection between our mind and body and specifically how our thoughts drive our feelings that lead to certain behaviors.
Speaker B:So let's say, for example, you have this project coming up and you're thinking, oh, I'm not the right person for this.
Speaker B:What if I say something wrong or sound silly or what if I mess it up?
Speaker B:So then having these thoughts, it creates the fear and anxiety of uncertainty and panic, and this leads to procrastination, maybe.
Speaker B:So you leave this until the very last minute.
Speaker B:Or you might do what I used to do, which is overworking, doing more than is necessary to avoid any surprises or disappointment.
Speaker B:So what we need to do is to identify that cycle of anxiety and stop it by figuring out what is causing it.
Speaker B:Because whether you procrastinate or go into an overworking mode, one thing is certain that the overthinking is not going to stop.
Speaker B:So what you can do, which we mentioned in the previous episode before, is name your feelings.
Speaker B:And here's how you can do this.
Speaker B:The first step is when you notice you're overthinking, to take a moment to pause and try to identify what is making you feel anxious, stressed, worried or afraid.
Speaker B:Then step two is to name the feeling that you're feeling in the moment by being as specific as possible.
Speaker B:Instead of just saying, I feel bad, try being more specific.
Speaker B:I feel anxious, I feel overwhelmed, or I feel frustrated.
Speaker B:Now for step three, I want you to write down the thoughts and the associated physical sensations of that emotion.
Speaker B:For example, muscle tightness, racing heart, or tension in your jaw or shoulders.
Speaker B:Now this will help you understand the connection between your thoughts and your feelings and Will also help you externalize your thoughts and make sense of them.
Speaker B:Now for step four, I want you to explore these thoughts.
Speaker B:Ask yourself, what evidence do I have that support this thought?
Speaker B:Or is there another way to look at this situation?
Speaker B:And finally, step five, I want you to go along with your train of thought and consider what would happen to you if what you thought actually happened.
Speaker B:How would you be able to handle it?
Speaker B:Would you be able to handle it?
Speaker B:When you find yourself in this final step, you basically challenge the thought and you try to find scenarios when you coped with something similar.
Speaker B:So for example, if you were thinking that, oh, this is too much for me, oh I cannot handle this, try saying something like, yes, this is challenging and new and scary, but I can take it one step at a time like I've done before and if I need help, I can ask for it.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:So if you practice this regularly, you will start to notice that the thoughts may be still coming to you, but they do not affect you in the same way as they did before.
Speaker B:Because we cannot stop thoughts coming to our minds.
Speaker B:That's impossible.
Speaker B:But we can decide whether or not we will pay attention to them.
Speaker B:And I know that as you practice this, you will also start to notice how you can feel more in control of what's happening in your mind and body.
Speaker B:And that is also going to boost your confidence.
Speaker B:Because it's not about changing you and your top qualities.
Speaker B:Because yes, having ambitious goals and being highly reliable and organized, to name a few, are incredible qualities to have.
Speaker B:What I believe is most important is to feel the way you appear to others.
Speaker B:Because self doubt, self comparison and being super critical of yourself are only going to hold you back from achieving your goals.
Speaker B:So a little extra tip before we finish off today's episode is to maybe start speaking and talking about yourself the way you would talk to your friend or to a young kid.
Speaker B:Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them so that you can do better and keep reminding yourself of everything you have accomplished so far.
Speaker B:So I feel like this should be an episode on its own on how to boost your confidence.
Speaker B:So stay tuned.
Speaker B:It is coming up.
Speaker B:But for today, practice calming your mind to stop overthinking.
Speaker B:And just as a quick recap, step one, take a moment to pause when you're overthinking and identify what you're feeling.
Speaker B:Step two, name your feeling.
Speaker B:Step three, write down your thoughts and physical sensations.
Speaker B:Step four, question your thoughts.
Speaker B:Step five, reframe your thoughts and rely on your existing strengths.
Speaker B:Alright, I hope this was helpful and I will see you in the next episode.
Speaker B:Until next time, take care of yourselves.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to the Peace With Anxiety podcast.
Speaker A:If you found any value in today, I would really appreciate if you would
Speaker B:leave me a review and share this
Speaker A:episode on your Instagram story tagging me at Irene the Anxiety Therapist.
Speaker A:Also, make sure you subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode.
Speaker A:All the links are found below in the show notes.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening and I look forward to seeing you the next episode.
